The Reality of Working Moms

Round Table #1 with Substack's favorite mothers

Annnnd I’m back in Philly after a busy few weeks of work and travel! Had a really lovely, child-free trip to Paris, which I’ll detail for y’all this month—how much it all cost, the best bites, the French pharmacy purchases, how I balanced my clients and vacation. However, I did not anticipate the combination of jet lag, Daylight Savings, and sniffly children to hit me so hard. All that to say: Hi, I’ve missed it here, and I am SO excited to be back to regular scheduled programming.

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Over the past year, I’ve been thinking a lot about the challenge of making new friends in your 30s and 40s (spoiler: it’s hard) AND how as a mom, it’s vital to my mental well-being to know other moms are in “it” too—whatever “it” is this week. Mothers who also find life to be a chaotic mix of indescribable love, exhaustion, scheduling Jenga, laughter, messes, snuggles, boredom, budgeting, and eternal gratitude.

When I started consulting this year and re-launched my newsletter, Double Dutch, I did not expect to find these women on Substack. It’s been one of the most unexpected gifts of my layoff and networking pods and virtual coffee chats. Somehow, on this writing platform, I’ve come across so many women who I resonate with both personally and professionally. The hustlers, the multi-faceted, the portfolio careerists, the dreamers and making-it-workers—who also answer to “Mom.”

It’s been a true joy to get to know these women and to learn from them. Each is whip-smart, funny, honest, generous, passionate, and an inspiration to me.

And with that, I present Double Dutch’s first-ever Mom Round Table, something I hope to make a regular thing here. Each round table discussion will focus on a specific topic in the vein of motherhood, and this Round Table #1 is very close to my heart: The Reality of Working Moms. So without further adieu, let’s get started!

Meet Today’s Round Table Mom Gang:

Me, Nicole Prince of Double Dutch | Philadelphia | Brand strategist & copy consultant

Kayti Doolittle - Paper Ghosts | Kansas City, Missouri | Freelance marketing consultant with a long-term author drea

Ellen Mote of Kuntshalle | Central Texas | Artist, writer, and content creator

Jennifer Cook of mom friend | Brooklyn | Buyer for an independent retailer in Soho and yoga teacher

Kait Santos of Align | Connecticut | Marketing professional by day, yoga teacher by night

Youngna Park of Making it Work | Brooklyn | Strategist-writer-researcher-product leader in parenting tech

Rachel Lipson | The Point | Brooklyn | Founder & CEO of a songwriting school for children and the founder of the travel company Brooklyn Family Travelers

Q: Alright moms! Let’s get right to it. How many kids do you have and how old are they?

NP: 3 kids, 7, 2, and 1. Clay is extroverted and witty. Jasper is tender and pure sunshine. Cora is a gentle lover.

KD: I’ve got two strong, kind, smart little girls. Yara is about 3 ½, and Amira just turned 8 and is going on 13.

EM: I have three kids, ages six, four and 20 months. One girl and two boys. My kids are thoughtful, curious, and generous.

JC: I have one daughter, Louisa, who turned two at the end of August. She’s sassy and already fiercely independent, and loves nothing more than dressing like a princess and climbing the tallest ladder on the playground.

KS: I have a 4 year old son named Luca, who I refer to as a “joy bomb” because he makes us laugh on the daily. I can’t wait to watch him become a big brother (I’m due with #2 in December!).

YP: Ada is 9 (10 in a few weeks) and extremely outgoing, creative, sassy, and maximalist in all regards. Julian turned 8 last week, and is a tiny philosopher with so much wisdom. He’s an introvert, deeply moral, and very gentle and kind.

RL: My kids are almost 10 & 12 (they are two years and one week apart and their birthday week is coming up—god help me). Max is a spirited, passionate kid who is obsessed with planes (on brand), animals and pretty much all forms of transportation. Henry is a thoughtful, empathetic kid who is either out hanging with his friends or buried in a book.

Q: All of us work full-time, give or take. I’m curious to hear your typical work days and work hours.

NP: We have a nanny 4 days a week from 8:30am-5pm. My MIL takes the 5th day. My work hours are generally 9-5, but since I’m building my consulting biz, I also typically work most evenings for a couple hours and a few hours on the weekend, during naps. It’s not ideal, but it is what it is right now. From 5-6pm, I’m usually trying to make dinner while carrying at least one child. The witching hour is alive and well in our house!

KD: Both girls go to Montessori school during the week. My husband, Asheer, and I trade off drop-off and pickup. My main client is based in Singapore, which means I either work really early mornings or late nights. Currently, my hours are all over the place.

Tuesdays, for example: he takes the girls to school, I start work at 5 a.m., wrap around 3:30, pick them up, take them to soccer, then hop on a call again at 8 p.m. once they’re in bed. I also usually work a few hours on Saturday mornings, but I’m trying to phase that out in the next six months.

My goal next year is to have about 25 - 30 hours of client work a week, and the spend the remaining hours on Paper Ghosts, and family.

EM: I’ve worked for myself for the last 10 years and feel fortunate to get to design a schedule that serves my life. I start working at 4am and work solid through around 8am. Then I take about a 1.5 hour break to go for a walk and reset. I’ll work for another two hours before picking up one of my kids from school, have lunch with him, take a nap, then work for another 2-3 hours.

JC: For my day job, I work from 10-6. I’m from home on Mondays, and in the office Tuesday through Friday. I teach yoga Sunday mornings and Tuesday mornings, and my husband is on baby duty for that. I write on my own time, sometimes with Louisa on my lap, haha. My mother in law helps us with the baby on Monday, and we are part of a nanny share Tuesday through Friday. Two days a week our daughter, nanny, and share family (one toddler) are here, two days we share from their home.

KS: This will likely change given my recent lay off, but typically, it’s 9-5 for my full-time job. My husband owns his own business and at least a couple nights a week will go back to work after bedtime so I spend those nights writing a Substack or studying for my upcoming CPT exam. I teach yoga on Tuesday evenings at 6pm. Sometimes I’ll get a few hours in on the weekend during naptime or if my husband goes out with my son. Luca is in preschool and we have a set schedule between my parents and MIL, who pick him up and spend the rest of the day with him. We are VERY lucky to have both of our families within 10 minutes and very grateful to be able to lean on them as our “village.”

YP: My kids are in school about 8:15 - 3pm, so that’s when I do the bulk of work. They have different afterschool schedules every day. We have just started a two day a week babysitter, who is a 20 year old puppeteer who does a lot of fun crafts with the kids. [Ed. note: This sounds like a dream babysitter for both parents and kiddos!]

I try to get as much done as possible by 3pm, then hack my way through the afternoon, or run out to do various pick-ups and drop-offs. But, the reality is that between the kids and the projects, my schedule is insane and every week we are doing a lot of ad hoc figuring shit out. My husband runs a film production company, we both travel a lot, and we have to split a lot of childcare and logistics.

Usually at some point during the day I go for a run, to a yoga class, or to play tennis. It really helps my focus. I also try to keep Fridays clear of calls, so I’ll do think-y work, errands, and doctor’s appointments that day. I do work in the evenings probably 2-3 nights a week but really try to keep things as compartmentalized as possible.

RL: I spent 15 years working crazy hours as a solo founder with the school I founded, Blue Balloon, and after leaving the day to day of my company, I had about two weeks of bliss before I sort of accidentally started my newer company, Brooklyn Family Travelers. Now, I’m back to long hours, lots of emails and meetings—and very ready for that first hire (it’s imminent!) to get some semblance of my life back. My kids are in school (thank god) and I spend the evenings and weekends with friends and family.

Q: On a scale of “hard as hell” to “ incredible,” how has motherhood felt to you lately?

NP: Going to the bathroom alone feels akin to a break these days, anyone else? In all seriousness though, the hard days are HARD. Sometimes I’m whispering threats through gritted teeth and counting the minutes until bedtime. But then, the sun is shimmering through the windows and the record player is on and they’re playing in the living room and giggling and I remember that a few years ago, in the middle of loss and fertility treatments, I would have killed for the hardest days.

KD: This is going to sound sappy and live, laugh, love wall-art adjacent, but I really do love being a mom, even in the hard parts. What’s hardest right now is feeling like I’m always missing something. I’ve got calls early and late, so I’m either missing morning kisses or bedtime stories. I try really hard to not miss bedtime stories. But right now I’m missing at least one a week. And bedtime is when my girls spill the real stuff, the friend drama, the worries or just the snuggles.

EM: Six years in and I feel like mothering doesn’t wreck me like it used to. I don’t feel like I’m thriving everyday, but I no longer feel the current constantly pulling me under. My older two kids play together really well and that has taken the pressure off of me. I’ve also made it clear that I am not the entertainer so my kids don’t come to me constantly for direction in their play.

I realized the life I’ve been dreaming of isn’t somewhere in the distant future, it was here, now. That changed everything

JC: All of the above each and every day? I feel like I’m always holding two thoughts at once—it’s fucking hard and wow this is the best. The feelings are complicated and nuanced, you know!? Lately, generally, it’s been feeling better and better, as we’re out of our most recent sleep regression and have fallen into a pretty good routine and this age is just such a joy. My daughter is always making us laugh and learning new things and it’s incredible to watch her grow and become her own person. But with that, she’s stubborn, so that’s been really hard.

KS: The whole spectrum, all at once, and opposite sides at any given moment. Separation anxiety set in right around our positive pregnancy test, which has meant that aside from 9-5 when school/parents have him, there is zero time when we are not all together in some form or another. Including sleep. He’s slept in our bed for the last year because he’s afraid of monsters in his room. Send tips!

YP: Mostly because of my kids’ age, I think I’m in the relatively pleasant middle of childhood where the kids are somewhat independent, have robust friend-groups, can walk around the neighborhood on their own, and are more able to be helpful. I’m sure it won’t last all that long, but it’s enabled me a lot more autonomy of my own compared to when they were younger, so I also have more of my own social/professional/hobby life at the same time.

We are also in a neighborhood with a lot of friends (theirs and ours) in walking distance, so we’re constantly watching each others’ kids, dropping our kids off, hosting/having dinner with friends, etc. It took a long time to get here, but now that we’re at this stage it’s nice.

RL: I want to tell all of you with little ones that it gets easier—and some of it does—but omg the tween stuff is really hard. I don’t miss the days of my kids being an appendage on my body but having your heart run around outside your body – and not always remembering to text that they’re okay – is a whole new level.”

Q: I recently heard someone say: “You can be an amazing CEO or a shitty mom. You can be a shitty CEO or an amazing mom. It’s nearly impossible to be amazing at both.” What do you think?

KD: I think “balance” is kind of a lie we tell ourselves to feel in control. I do think it’s hard to be good at both, but I also think it’s possible, just not everyday.

With that said, I also think there is a reason why books like Neha Ruch’s,The Power Pause are so popular. I think working, ambitious women, that also happen to be mothers, are tired of trying to have it all at the same time.

EM: I wish it was that black and white, but I’m learning life sits more firmly in the gray zone. To me, I see being a ‘great mom’ as presence. Slowing down to be in the moment with my kids. It’s not about homemade meals, orginized activities, parties, halloween costumes, etc. just sharing a moment together. I think you can be killing it at work, and still be present for your kids. But, it’s a choice.

*I also think true presence with kids goes a lot further than being ‘in the room’ with them but emotionally/mentally checked out on another project for a longer amount of time.

JC: I just think our idea of what amazing means changes. I disagree that if you’re good at one you’re failing at the other, but I do think our perspective on what success and failure looks like shifts a little—or at least it has for me. Am I the most ambitious employee I’ve ever been in my life, and do I drop a ball here or there or avoid going above and beyond sometimes (all the time)? Sure. At home, do I also drop some balls and sometimes throw on Elmo because I need to get some work done and therefore can’t be as present as I would like? Yes. But I don’t think either of those things means I’m shitty at them, you know?

KS: My initial instinct is to really dislike that statement, probably because I don’t want it to be true. I love Nora Roberts’s glass ball theory. If you’re not familiar, she essentially says that some of the balls you’re juggling are plastic and some are glass. It’s important to know which are which so you can prioritize catching the glass balls. I try to keep that in mind when I’m thinking about trying to strike a balance between family and work life, and taking care of myself, too.

YP: I think being a good mom and good CEO are more about the kind of person you are and how you treat people, not about how many hours you work at whatever job you’re trying to be so good at. Both require communication, attention, conscientiousness, empathy, boundaries, etc. I don’t see it as zero sum.

RL: I mean, I’m the founder and CEO of two companies—so you can probably imagine how things go on my worst days. But on my better days, there is balance and delegation and focusing on letting others do what they do best—and not trying to micromanage helps with all my jobs including motherhood.

Q: What are three things you let slide on the regular?

NP: Laundry…I have clean clothes mountain in front of my closet. It’s how I get dressed and I hate it but I can’t bring myself to hang things up once the kiddos are in bed. I’m too tired! Chicken nuggets/mac and cheese at least once a week. And please don’t come at me, but NEVER more than 3 baths per week. I don’t know how people do every night. And yes, sometimes the crib sheets have crumbs on them.

KD: 1000% laundry is the worst thing in the world. I put it off. Nicole, glad to see I’m not the only one who struggles to put clothes away! I used to have someone come once a week and help, but she got a new job in her area of expertise, and so it goes. We go out to eat probably three times a week. Once for breakfast on the weekends. (McClain’s is the best bakery in Kansas City.) If I do my hair once a week, I’m thriving.

EM: I rarely plan playdates with my kids. The emotional fallout afterwards was far too taxing to make this a regular thing. They all go to school every weekday and that is enough socialization for us on weekdays. We also skip 80% of birthday parties.

I think that our lowkey social schedule is the secret sauce to a low-stress life. Anything to avoid the rushing and unnecessary meltdowns.

JC: My laundry always sits in the dryer for way too long. I make the same thing for my daughter’s lunch every single week. And I am the world’s worst texter.

KS: I don’t cook so that is all my husband. I’d like to plug Fair Play here - that is one of his tasks. I hate to say it, but sometimes dishes are left in the sink overnight. And I’ll echo Nicole’s philosophy on bath time—that is not a nightly occurrence in our household.

YP: I love food and do enjoy cooking, just not 3 times a day, 7 times a week for kids who don’t eat all that much. So, I don’t spend much time thinking in advance about what we’re all eating. Fortunately, my husband does 80% of the cooking and grocery shopping and feeds us much better than I could.

Homework is optional at my kids’ school and I err on the very lax side about it. I’d rather them read books they enjoy and make stuff rather than do worksheets the school sends home. I’m sure I should help them build some homework routine but I’m not that interested in the battle.

Baths, showers. I mean, unless the kids smell, who cares?

RL: I like a clean and organized house but when things get crazy, I will shove things into drawers and inside closets and deal with the mess later. We rarely cook (how terrible is that? But honestly – who has the time?). We order a lot of food delivery and I’m pretty sure that we are so used to that, it would be hard to ever not live in a big city.

Q: Let’s get real about money and outsourcing. What do you outsource for your family and what does it cost? Anything you’d outsource immediately if you won the lotto?

NP: We outsource house cleaning ($140 twice a month), nanny $800-$900 per week, and use grocery pick-up or delivery. Full disclosure: life right now is a huge stretch for our budget. If I won the lotto, I’d hire a housekeeper to keep the house tidier and a professional organizer.

KD: We have a cleaner once a month, $200. We used to have someone help with laundry ($75 a session), and honestly, that was the best money I’ve ever spent. We also have lawn care, which runs about $250 a month. Groceries are mostly Instacart delivery. I’d love to get rid of that too, but right now it helps so much. I often wonder how my mom did it without any of this.

If I won the lottery, I’d hire a wife. Someone to handle all the invisible stuff, permission slips, birthday gifts, the “oh no, it’s pajama day” mornings. Someone who just quietly makes the chaos go away. Okay maybe I’m sort of joking. I’d probably hire a house manager, someone who keeps the household machine running: scheduling lawn care, laundry help, painters, signing up for summer camps before they sell out in 0.2 seconds. Basically, a project manager for family life.

JC: We outsource childcare four days a week, as Nicole mentioned above. It’s about $3500/month. We’ll use a house cleaner every now and then and it’s incredible, and something I would do regularly if I won the lotto. I’d also hire a personal chef a couple days a week. I love cooking, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. I would really like someone to do all the lunch prepping for myself and my kid.

KS: We also outsource housecleaning ($85/every two weeks—family friend’s business, this is an anomaly, I’m sure) and we eat out more than we should! It’s the biggest household expense and something we’re actively working to cut back on. If I won the lottery, I’d probably go for a personal chef. Thinking about meals is the bane of my existence. A professional organizer sounds nice, too!

YP: We just decided to get a sitter 2 days a week to help us after having no regular sitter for two years. As a two freelancer household we were constantly scrambling for coverage for ad hoc things and decided we needed more reliability in our support system. We get a cleaner 1x a month (~$200) and do some grocery delivery (maybe 1x a month).

If I won the lotto? I would love to have a cleaner come every week. I’d love to have a standing babysitter at least one night a week. Honestly, modest dreams. I would, however, love another bathroom.

RL: We have a housecleaner once a week, a handyman that comes when we need help (we are not handy!) and use a food delivery service called Jennie’s Kitchen (since we don’t cook). It’s the best—tons of options and perfect for our family of four, none of whom like the same things.

We also have a whole roster of teenage babysitters and it’s life changing. We do a lot of date nights and can RSVP to parties and events without worrying about finding coverage for the kids. I would love a full time housekeeper, personal assistant and house manager. But I also don’t love having other people in my house so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

Q: What have you had to sacrifice most to be a mom?

KD: My quiet mornings.

JC: Independence. I mean, of course. But personally, that has felt the hardest to reconcile. I miss being on my own and not being needed all the time and getting to just…be. It’s an adjustment now, always planning 15 steps in advance and making sure everyone is taken care of and not having that down time and alone time I really crave. But it’s getting easier, and of course I feel obligated to say that it’s worth it.

KS: My career has definitely taken a hit, unfortunately. I had a miscarriage a couple years ago and then went through IVF a year later and it felt impossible to ride that rollercoaster while simultaneously expanding my career/income. Also, the best opportunities in my area would require commuting two hours twice a day to and from NYC, which I refuse to do because I wouldn’t see my family. Alas, we’re going the entrepreneurial route and I’m excited to see what’s in store!

YP: Sleep? Travel? I don’t really think of it as a huge sacrifice. I’m happy to be a mom. I think it’s made my life a lot richer. Also crazier, more hectic, exhausting, funnier, completely fucking absurd at times.

RL: Time and calm. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything but I remember that first feeling of overwhelm I had when my son was born – and thinking it was temporary. That was 12 years ago and it never went away. Obviously I need to take on less, outsource more, maybe meditate – but who has time for all that?

Q: What part of you feels a lot different since becoming a mom?

NP: Well, physically my butt/waist/stomach feels SO different. Aside from the weight gain, things just don’t fit on my body the same way there and I’m very conscious of it. On the flip side, I’ve become so much more emotionally resilient. The things that used to throw me SO off track in my 20s, like not getting invited to something, just don’t phase me like they used to. It still stings sometimes, but my ability to bounce back and move on has improved 20 fold.

KD: Really… I feel like a completely different person in every way. I think there are some cultures that believe your old self dies during childbirth. That’s felt true to me. For me it’s felt more like evolution than losing something. But there will always be a part of me that misses the smaller size jean I used to wear, or the ability to truly sleep through the night without worry.

EM: My mindset going into it mothering was, this is something I am doing for my kids. Now I see it as, this is something that is shaping me. When I stopped seeing motherhood as something I needed to perfect, and started viewing it as something that was shaping me, I was able to relax into it more.

JC: I’m more confident, that’s for sure! There must be something about raising a kid that puts everything else in perspective, and it’s allowed me to be more certain of myself. Most of the time, at least.

KS: I feel like a totally different person since becoming a mom—in a good way. It feels really cliche to say that having a child gave my life more meaning, but it did—and that’s coming from someone who wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to be a mom in the first place. I think it’s made me stronger mentally and emotionally and it’s forced a lot of growth and learning.

YP: I think it has made me 1000x more empathetic. You go through a lot with pregnancy, parenting battles, etc. that are entirely invisible to other people. I think that made me realize that I never know what anyone else might be dealing with at any given moment. Everyone has their own hurdles that you absolutely cannot see or know about, so give a little more grace.

RL: I thought I’d be a more laid back mom. I think I may have been when they were younger, but my kids NEVER stop talking and asking for things and sometimes, I find it really stressful. I was a truly excellent teacher (formerly a preschool teacher!) and that feeling of calm around kids is something I thought I’d always have with my own kids—and it’s surprising how much they can get under my skin and stress me out. And then the second they go to bed I’m scrolling through photos and thinking of clever things they said and basking in the cozy gratitude that they are mine. Parenting does weird things to you.

Q: Let’s talk days off school/daycare or the nanny is sick. What’s your strategy? Tag team? You? In-laws? Cartoons?

KD: I will call on my mom or Asheer’s mom on these days, but I will say they are both pretty busy with their rich lives. We do also have a great line up of sitters, that can help from time to time in a pinch.

On the days where none of the back up plans work, sometimes Asheer and I will tag-team and split the day. We did that a lot during COVID. But mostly, when everything falls apart, I accept it’s going to be a half-work, half-kid day. I’m going to have to work when the kids go to bed. And If I get two solid hours of focus in during the day, I’m calling it a win.

JC: Lol strategy?! What’s that?! Honestly it depends on the day. Whoever has the lighter work load that day will often take it on, and it usually means Frozen on repeat with some Elmo sprinkled in. I used to feel really guilty about that, but I’m learning to just let it be what it is.

KS: Oh gosh, this is an amalgamation of things—whatever it takes to survive. If it’s a day off school during the school year, he goes to my MIL’s. Our biggest struggle is during the summer when school is out and my MIL is in Portugual for a couple months. Then it’s tag teaming, screentime, and help from my sister and parents. We also went to Portugal for a few weeks this summer and last, partly because we love it there, but also hugely because it cut down on the number of weeks we struggled with childcare.

YP: Mostly tag teaming. TV, books, art supplies. With older kids it’s definitely easier. I can send them to a park or playground to meet up with a friend and coordinate with other parents. They can walk there on their own, and my older kid has a very basic smartwatch so she can send me voice messages or let me know where she is. Sometimes we put them in day-off camps with a friend, but those are pretty expensive.

RL: My husband is a stay-at-home dad and has been since our oldest was born. It started as a stop gap and continued on. Now we travel so much and my businesses have been successful so it hasn’t made sense for him to get back into the work force. It’s a relief to know that he’s around and can do the shuttling and be where he’s needed when things come up, but at the end of the day, I still carry much of the mental load. The kids have screens and if we need a quiet house, that’s the ticket.

Q: As a working mom, how do you stay present with your kid(s) when you’ve got work noise swirling around your head?

KD: I’m trying to make reading time at night sacred. And then something I tell myself a lot is: there is always enough time.

I started saying that when we first had Yara. There’s a four and a half year gap between my girls, and it was hard for Amira at first, watching me split my attention. So I’d tell her: There’s always enough love and time for everyone. Mom never runs out. Dad never runs out.

Some days it doesn’t feel like we have any time left, but saying it helps pull me out of the guilt loop. It reminds me to look for the small ways to connect, five minutes here, a quick story there. But with that said, I definitely don’t get it right every time. I don’t think anyone does.

JC: Sometimes I’m super present, sometimes I’m not. And that’s just what it is. It also depends a lot on what’s going on that day/week and how stressed I am in the moment. If it’s a nutty week and I know I’m only going to have a few minutes to fit in cleaning the kitchen, I’ll just skip the playing and get done what I need to get done because if I don’t, I’ll go crazy. Alternatively, if I know we have a quiet weekend coming up and I can let a few things slide for a couple days, I’ll choose to play. So no hacks, no strategies. Just taking it day by day.

Also, leaving my phone in another room is really the only thing that works to get me off it when I need to be present with her. Kids are boring sometimes, so I always reach for it. If it’s not there, it’s easier to stay engaged.

KS: This is hard! It is so tough to shut off at the end of the day, especially when I feel like I was just getting into the flow or have new ideas to sort through or am grappling with a difficult situation. Adding kids into the mix when my brain is swirling feels so overstimulating sometimes. My general rule is to put my phone away between 5-8pm so that I’m not tempted to focus on something other than family things. And then I try to remember that this is the limited amount of time that I get with my son each day and I want to feel as present as possible with him, and I want him to feel that, too. It’s a mindset switch that often allows me to hone in on him versus work.

YP: I’d rather have 10 quality minutes with the kids, then tell them I need to get back to work, then an hour of splitting my time between the kids and work, where nothing gets my full attention. So, sometimes I know I need to work after dinner. We play a game together, have our time together, then I’m like, OK, work time now. And it’s fine. They will be fine.

RL: My boys are two years apart and thick as thieves together (the best of friends and worst enemies) so they entertain each other. My involvement is often as a referee which is the most exhausting job of all time. I work from home and absolutely love that I am always in the mix to some extent, even when I am working. My kids will sometimes come hang out in my office after school and do their homework, or lay on the floor and tell me stories about their day. I’d like to say I always put my phone down or my computer down when they come in (I don’t) but I do try to carve out the weekends to really be available to do stuff with them. None of us are good at sitting around and relaxing (taking tips!) so I try to just get everyone out of the house and can focus more on family time that way.

Q: And because I need some gift ideas, what is the #1 best kid-related purchase you made this year?

NP: For my second grader, a Where’s Waldo book from the used section at a kids shop. For my toddlers (and my second grader), this indoor bike is a giant hit. They ride around the house a gazillion times on it.

KS: For Amira, the Witchlings book series, it’s been so fun to read together and see her get totally hooked on a story. For Yara, we signed up for the Dolly Parton Imagination Library, and I’ve loved every book they’ve sent.

JC: I hardly remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday, so thinking back over all purchases made this year is nearly impossible. One that jumps out—though maybe not the best per se—was a Frozen themed book that she truly cannot get enough of. I’m doing my best to make her a bookworm so we’ll often go to the local bookstore together where I’ll let her pick something out, and she gravitated towards this one instantly. It’s so dull reading it five times in a row every night, but it brings her so much joy, and anything I can do to encourage reading is a win in my book (pun intended??).

KS: These aren’t purchases we made this year, but I stand by them: Magnatiles—we’re finally starting to see some real independent play with these. And Ride-on Quad—the amount of hours this has entertained him, just riding around the house in endless loops.

YP: This stuffed animal hammock which successfully gets about 40 stuffies out of my daughter’s bed.

RL: This color kindle (connected to the Libby library app). As my son says, “it’s like having a whole library in your hands”. They can read novels and graphic novels and there’s nothing to do on it but read. My kids each have one and take them everywhere.

Q: And the best purchase you made for yourself.

NP: 5 nights at the Park Hyatt Paris Vendome for $0 and business class flight for around $200.

KD: A solo hotel or Airbnb night. No kids, no husband, no responsibility. Just me, a robe, and bad TV. Room service. Worth every penny.

JC: A massage and day at the spa with my best friend to celebrate my birthday.

KS: A Nuuly subscription - a pregnant girl’s best friend. [Ed. note: Here’s a referral link from Kait that gets you $30 off your first month if you’ve been thinking about giving it a try!]

YP: I spend a fair amount on exercise, mostly on tennis (court time, lessons, paying for USTA matches). It’s an expensive sport to play in New York but makes me so happy, and is good for my energy, mood, and general health.

RL: On Mother’s Day, I spent the morning at little league games and then checked in to the Park Hyatt New York for a solo staycation. I took myself to a Broadway show, ordered room service, went to the pool and never wanted to leave. I used 45,000 Hyatt points for the one night, transferred from the travel card I always recommend (the best one!). This $1500+ room actually cost me $0. Thank goodness for points! [Ed. note: we speak the same language!]

Thank you so much for reading Double Dutch. It truly means the world. For more, follow along on Instagram. Connect on LinkedIn. Let’s work together. Buy me a coffee!

Need a place to start? Check out everyone’s favorites: ✨ The Ultimate Baby Registry List ✨ How I’m Traveling to Paris for $368 ✨ 3 Easy Dinners I Make Every Week ✨ Exactly What to Bring New Moms ✨